The Real Reasons Women Have Sex: It Ain’t for Love


The Real Reasons Women Have Sex

Seems like women have sex for a variety of reasons that have nothing to do with love, pleasure or having babies. According to new research the real reasons women have sex are varied, and, some would say, surprising:

“Research has shown most men find most women at least somewhat sexually attractive, whereas most women do not find most men sexually attractive at all,” Why Women Have Sex authors Cindy Meston and David Buss said.

Having apparently discounted physical attraction, the 1000 women interviewed by the Texas University professors gave a huge range of reasons for sleeping with a man.

One said she did it for a spiritual experience, proclaiming: “It’s the closest thing to God.”

But mostly the explanations were far more mundane, with 84 per cent admitting to having sex just to ensure a quiet life or to bargain for household chores. One woman said: “I have sex to relieve the boredom because it’s easier than fighting. Plus it gives me something to do.”

While it may not come as welcome news, some women have sex out of sympathy, with one admitting: “I slept with a couple of guys because I felt sorry for them.”

But many have more selfish motives, with financial or material rewards a major factor.

In one survey of students, nearly one in 10 women admitted to “having sex for presents”. Others said: “He bought me a nice dinner”, “he spent a lot of money on me early on”, “he showed me he had an extravagant lifestyle”.

And rather than love or romance, for many women sex is just about fun. Six in 10 university students said they slept with a male friend who was not their boyfriend.

“Life is too damn short to be waiting four years to have sex again,” one said.


Most women don’t find men sexually attractive.

That’s pure hilarity.

No surprise that women have sex for presents. I don’t really think that’s news.

I’ve definitely had sex out of boredom. A good many of my undergraduate relationships resulted out of boredom.

My life wasn’t particularly exciting so I used men as a form of entertainment.

I will say though I’ve definitely been physically attracted to about 90% of the men I’ve slept with. I like hot, hard body men and I’ve slept with my fair share.

That’s part of my problem now.

I am completely unwilling to compromise in the looks department as far as what I find attractive. If there is any shot of us having a great sex life (and ultimately a good relationship) then I need to find you attractive. If not, well I’m not the most monogamous person to being with…

  1. Aabaakawad 15 years ago

    What do women think about during sex, when they are just not that into it?

    Grocery list? Other men? Old movies? What’s gonna be on TV? Their old lovers? Their next lover? Shopping? Changing the sheets? Planning the next day? Celebrity gossip? Are we there yet? Budgeting? Waterfalls and surf? Their job? His [mis]behavior? Managing her blogs? A new hairstyle? Favorite music? The weather? Greco-Roman wrestling? Global warming? Al Gore? Favorite food? Barry White? Bills? Making a joyful noise? What they are going to ask for? The kind sex they wish they were having? The Sound of Music? Amusement park rides? Synchronized swimming? Denzel? Laundry? Square dancing? The kids’ homework? CSI? Algebra? Revenge? 100 Bottles of Beer on the Wall? Redecorating?


  2. I make a point to only have sex I’m really I don’t have an answer for you.

    BTW I love your blog!

  3. Aabaakawad 15 years ago

    Dang … I thought I was giving you a great setup for delivering humor and you would run with this one. Oh well, I’m glad you enjoyed it.

  4. Neil 15 years ago

    This has got to be the dumbest thing I’ve read in a long time. You need to stop filling people’s heads with this nonsense.

    • Uh Nell…I didn’t write the article…or do the research…if you have an issue with the “nonsense” then you need to complain to the right people.

  5. Neil 15 years ago

    Look here………It’s nonsense when this has NO redeeming value, nothing constructive (especially for people of color), it’s divisive for men and women and void of being uplifting. There are too many problems already with few solutions. The African American family is in peril. I have an issue when something LIKE THIS is readily available for any and everyone to see. We have to be very careful on how we influence others. That said, be ready and able to handle when someone strongly disagrees with your content. Especially when a man is put in such a negative light. When it’s the other way around, I’m positive you wouldn’t be at all silent…………………………..

    • *Rolls Eyes*

      The name of the blog is “A Big Butt and a Smile” This is an Entertainment and Sex Blog NOT a Black Woman Empowerment Blog…go read What About Our Daughters or Black Women Blow the Trumpet…entertainment…ENTERTAINMENT

  6. Neil 15 years ago


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