6 Reasons Why It’s Difficult for Women to Have an Orgasm?

have an orgasm

Why Is It Difficult for Women to Have an Orgasm?

According to reports, roughly 70% of women don’t reach an orgasm during intercourse. Although that figure in itself is shocking, it also makes you wonder about how many women never orgasm at all (i.e., intercourse or not)!

A lot of flack fall on men on why women don’t experience an orgasm but truth be told, women have a lot to do about this as well whether they realize it or not.

There are many reasons why women don’t reach sexual climax. Some of them maybe men’s faults but a lot can be because of her too…

1. Foreplay? What foreplay?

Foreplay is extremely important. For women, making love begins in the mind and if you don’t ‘condition’ her mind for sex, then chances are she won’t be sexually reciprocating in bed too. Furthermore, women really do need more time than men to reach an orgasm; so foreplay is actually your way of extending your own sexual stamina.

2. She’s thinking too much!

Women are natural multi-taskers. Unfortunately, they’re so used to thinking and doing several things at the same time that they find it hard to simply be ‘in the moment’ during sex. If most men can be very ‘in the zone’ during sex, women seem to have various thoughts running through their heads all the time (e.g., home chores that need to be done, kids’ homework, dirty laundry, etc.).

3. She’s full of… insecurities

Women have many body image issues. While you may adore her, her mind is probably worried about at least three different things as you undress her: Is the light revealing any cellulite? Are my ‘love handles’ protruding? Does he think my breasts are too small/big?   If body image anxiety is not in her head, then she may be thinking about things such as “I didn’t shower yet, I hope I smell good… especially down there.”, or “I didn’t pee. I hope I don’t embarrass myself.”   ALL these thoughts are making her focus on the wrong things! It’s taking attention away from sexual pleasure and into sexual insecurities. And when a woman is in this mode, it’s almost impossible to her focus on reaching her own climax!

4. She really doesn’t know her own body

There is a certain art form to making love to a woman’s body. It really does have a lot of mysterious curves, spots and turns. Sadly, many women don’t indulge in a lot of ‘self exploration’ when it comes to sex. As such, it’s hard to guide you on what makes her feel good or which techniques really turn her on. And really, if she doesn’t know her own body, how can you be expected to instinctively know what brings her pleasure, right?   The best thing is… it’s never too late to learn! Why don’t you BOTH explore her body? Don’t rush anything and try everything. See what turns her on best and use that knowledge to make her reach her orgasm. Make it your sexual quest!

5. YOU’re not paying attention!

True, men are not mind-readers. Unfortunately, many women are not great communicators in bed as well so we have a little problem here. Compounding this problem is of course that favorite female bedroom habit of ‘faking orgasms’. As a result, YOU think that what you’re doing is great when in reality you may not even be close!   To solve this particular problem, try to develop a certain ‘sexual code’ between you two. For instance, a slight squeeze on your arm means “You’re doing great! Pls. keep doing it!”; while nails on your skin or arm mean “enough of that!”. You will receive more squeezes, however, if you know some important facts.

6. YOU’re changing ‘techniques’ too fast

Men like to try different sexual positions and that’s great but sometimes you may be changing just a bit too fast. Women need to get accustomed to a certain ‘rhythm’ before sexual pleasure begins to climb. If you keep shifting positions, she will either (a) never find the position that brings her an orgasm, (b) lose the sexual pleasure she was experiencing in the previous position or (c) be so frustrated that even if you go back to the same position, she may not be that sexually aroused again.   So keep this in mind: when it comes to female orgasm it’s not just location, location, location… it’s also about repetition, repetition, repetition.

Hopefully this list of potential reasons why your partner is not reaching an orgasm paves the way for discussion between the two of you. Don’t focus on why she’s not reaching an orgasm. Instead, focus on what you guys are going to do, so that she does reach her climax. That’s a more positive approach and lot more fun too!

  1. Who's That Gurl? 15 years ago

    Great info, Brown Sugar. In my 20s I left it up to my partner to complete the deed…and always ended up disappointed. Now I know what makes me tick so I can take over if he misses the mark. I agree, it’s ultimately up to us to make sure we’re satisfied (and communication, both verbal and physical, plays a big role).

  2. Bryan Wilhite 15 years ago

    I don’t have my usual, very ignorable, corrective tone for this one. You hit all the major points out of the park!

  3. Gangstarr Girl 15 years ago

    I’m not inn that 70%. Pats self on the back. I’m actually orgasmically gifted. It happens relatively easy for me. Hee hee hee.


  4. clnmike 15 years ago

    Foreplay? What foreplay?

    It has been my experience that Good foreplay will allow you to get away with a lot in the bedroom.

    She’s thinking too much!

    Yup, some women you cant even talk dirty to during sex because they will actually try to answer you, and analyze what your saying to them.

    She’s full of… insecurities.

    Thats a turn off.

    She really doesn’t know her own body.

    I find that if you take it slow you pretty much walk right inot her hot spots.

    YOU’re not paying attention!

    Number one goal in sex should be getting your partner there, with yours a close 2nd.

    YOU’re changing ‘techniques’ too fast.

    Porn has turned dudes into sexual acrobats, every one wants to jump from position to position before the pay off forgetting the reason why your there in the first place.

    Good Post.

  5. Kit (Keep It Trill) 15 years ago

    Nice post. I’ll just add that many women need to feel loved and have full emotional trust too, before they can let go.

  6. Marcus LANGFORD 15 years ago

    all of these are definitely true, especially the first one. too many fellas jump in that bed trying to knock it out the park so to speak, when they should really be taking their time and knowing their woman so they can better please her.

    [Associated Mess©]

  7. blackwomenblowthetrumpet.blogspot.com 15 years ago

    @ K.I.T.

    Thank you!!

    {thumbs up}


  8. John T. Doolittle 14 years ago

    Viagra helps you to keep up to put of an erection for an elongated period. Viagra makes the penis continue rigidly erected even following a sexual climax and resulting in bigeminal orgasms for your life better half. http://www.buy-viagra-with-us.com/

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