When It Comes to Abortion a Man’s Opinion Doesn’t Matter

Abortion Billboard

Abortion is Solely A Woman’s Decision

In the wake of all the recent bills passed to severely limit a woman’s ability to have abortion it is important to remind everyone that an abortion is solely a woman’s decision.

Men can offer their opinion, but the only, and I mean only, opinion that matters is that of the person who is pregnant.

To illustrate my point, some years ago a man in New Mexico put this billboard up after he learned his ex-girlfriend aborted their child.

While I don’t have a problem with him taking out the billboard, I do have a problem with the idea he had any rights regarding his girlfriend’s decision to abort.

There are plenty of men (and some women) who argue passionately about a man’s right to have a say in whether a woman gives birth or not and once the child is born — if he didn’t want it — how he should be able to opt out of being financially responsible for the child.

I call bullshit to both arguments and here’s why:

1. Men Do Have Choices

Contrary to popular belief, men do have choices.

They  can choose to use protection.

They can choose not to have sex with women they don’t want to procreate with.

Hell, they can choose to have a vasectomy. Their choices are available to them pre-conception.

Women also have choices pre-conception. They can choose not to sleep with a man they don’t want to have children with.

They can choose to always use protection — a variety of protections. They can choose to have their tubes ties or other methods of permanent birth control.

So everybody has choices pre-conception. Everyone. So all this men don’t have a choice is bullshit. Whether or not they are choices you like is another conversation, but not liking your choices doesn’t mean you don’t have any.

2. Everyone Is Legally Responsible. Only One Person Is Physically Responsible.

Men have no physical responsibility once conception occurs. As a matter of fact, unless she pursues child support, a man has no responsibility for a pregnancy or a child whatsoever.

However, if a woman gets pregnant , the choices she has available to her both involve having her feet in stirrups weather she chooses to terminate the pregnancy or not. And both options affect her life with one choice impacting it for a minimum of 18 years.

Legally both parties are held responsible for the child once the child is here; so women aren’t getting away with anything if they choose to have a child.

She is physically and financially responsible for the child once conception happens. At most a man legally only has a financial responsibility — and this doesn’t even include the time constraints of raising the child.

But to have some of men tell it, it’s not fair to have financial responsibility for a child you didn’t want once you abdicated your choices that you had available to you from the beginning?

Mind you the woman has been legally, financially, physically responsible for the child you both created from the very beginning — even if she has an abortion that’s a physical and financial responsibility that the man does not have.

So what’s unfair exactly?

3. The One With The Uterus Makes The Rules

You know what’s funny? When we talk about money we understand that it is the one with the gold who makes the rules.

But when it comes to pregnancy, everyone should have equal say even though everyone doesn’t have an equal responsibility when it comes to having or not having a child.

So here’s the thing — the one with the uterus makes the rules — and if you have a serious problem with that as a man, then use your CHOICES from jump.

Just like I tell my girls it’s better to have your own than to rely on someone to make sure things are taken care; well men, it’s better to have control over your own lives instead of bitching and moaning after the fact because you chose to toss your options aside.

Wrap it up.

  1. PurpleJeli 13 years ago

    Loving the points in this article. I’m tired of men saying they don’t have a choice when they could have walked away BEFORE sex occurred or after the baby was born (which many do anyway). Good article!

  2. SweetPoison 13 years ago

    A agree with much of what you have to say.

    But… women can put the child up for adoption, thus divesting themselves of responsibility. Or leave the child with granny, like so many do. That is a choice that women have, whether or not we approve. Do men have that same choice?

    • Men have to sign away their rights as well for adoption to happen. Also men can leave the kid with granny if they want to as well. Many do.

  3. My Dating Hangovers 13 years ago

    Finally! The facts and valid points laid out, plain and simple. I can’t say how sick I am of hearing men complain about “I didn’t want any kids” or “I didn’t want any kids with HER” and I always ask “Was she sterile and it was a surprise?” or “Did you wrap it up?”. Blank stares each time.

    The same applies to women, so thank you for pointing that out to those in denial acting as if the conception was one-sided.

    The picture of the man in New Mexico though? Wowsers.

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