Relationship Advice: Smart Women Marry for Money

Marry for Money

Smart Women Marry For Money

Black women and marriage are consistently a hot topic online and off. However much of the topic tends to be on the low marriage rates among black women and not on the reasons and they type of men black women should marry. While there are many reasons women should marry, when it comes to black women, marriage and the factors that go into such a decision, money is definitely one the many factors for marriage that need to be discussed.

Money and sex happen to be the number 1 and number 2 reasons for divorce in this country, yet they are also the two things folk like to pretend aren’t that important in a relationship. I’ve already made it clear that I think sex is a relationship deal breaker and to that I will add that a woman who doesn’t evaluate her future spouses earning potential is a plum fool. And no, this isn’t about marrying solely for money…any woman who does so will earn every penny of it…but it is about recognize that your choice in souse will be one of the most important financial decision you make.

Tiger and Elin Woods

We’ve all been weaned on fairytales and Hollywood fantasies where love conquers all, but last time checked the chick in the fairytale was marrying a prince and rarely does a Holllywood movie leave people broke and happy. And before anyone decides to tell me how their parents and grandparents were married for twenty-five years and were happy as a lark, I will say that may be true (doubtful but true), but I promise you they didn’t want to struggle. They may have made the best with the hand that was dealt them, but I guarantee that no one wants to struggle. No one says, “Hey can I have a helping of struggle with a side of stress and despair please,” as they are starting off in life.

A man’s earning potential is one of many factors that has to be evaluated before marriage can be considered. Like it or not this is still a patriarchal society we live in. Women still get paid less for similar work, can still hit the glass ceiling in corporate America and often have to choose between being a mommy and having a high powered career. We still ask the question can women have it all and as long as we’re asking the question the answer is a resounding NO…at least not at the same time. There’s a reason why medical schools and law schools are rough;y 50% female, yet when you look at hospitals and law firms across the country they aren’t reflective of that fact. Many high earning women marry high earning men and once the children show up their careers take a backseat.  Even many of those who continue to work do so on a part-time basis.

And even if you want to continue your career then you’re going to have to have  appropriate child care and that costs quite a bit of money as well. Either way you turn the need to make a smart financial choice in a spouse (for those who want marriage) is absolutely necessary.  This idea that he’s a “good man” but he’s barely making above minimum wage is a joke. He may be a good man, but he is not ready to be a husband. Basic test: if a man is not in a position to provide the basics for a family – food, clothing and shelter – then he is not ready to be married. Date him, enjoy his company, but think long and hard  before you say “I Do.” Contrary to popular belief love does not conquer all,  however it does grease the divorce proceedings quite nicely.

  1. Shawn Smith 15 years ago

    I hope you write about the other side of this …

    That if you (women) want a man that is financially stable, then men are looking for a women that can help run a household.

    That knows how to cook and to take care of children.

    Don’t think that I’m being argumentative…I just want you to be fair.

    Yes but the expectations of which you speak happen regardless of the socio-economic status of the man involved. If you’re going to be expected to “run a household” then you might as well be able to either live comfortably while you take care of home or have the money to hire the necessary help.

  2. LVL 15 years ago

    I love this post!

  3. chocolateIntellect 15 years ago

    I AGREE with this post !!! Love definitely does not conquer all. I was one of the ones with the decent man who made minimum wage, but wanted to marry lol. Your response to the above commenter was on point too, if I am going to be expected to “cook and take care of children”, at least I can do it while being financially secure because a broke man is going to expect the same thing lol.

  4. Kjen 15 years ago

    I like the frankness of this post.
    It seems as if the only “proper” way to discuss marriage is centered around religion (he’s got to be a god-fearing Christian, for the most part) and love. Love waxes and wanes through the years. So having “ulterior motives” keeping you banded together could help stabilize marriage as an institution. Hmm, not very romantic, is it? Yeah, we also need to divorce the concept of marriage from romance too. It would save a lot of disillusionment.

  5. […] laughed. He may still be a nice guy at $20,000 a year, but he is definitely NOT marriage worthy.  When it’s time to marry money matters. If a man can’t provide or a family on his income alone, then he’s not ready to be […]

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