John Holmes Realistic Dildo Review

John Holmes Realistic Dildo


About the John Holmes Realistic Dildo


Does the movie “Tropic of Passion” ring a bell? Do you still get a rush at hearing the name “Cream Rinse”? How about “California Gigolo”? If none of these sound familiar to you, you’re about to get knocked out of your socks! These are all movies starring Johnny Holmes, the controversial adult film actor, who was, among other things, remembered for having the largest penis in the adult industry at that time! Let’s not forget, he had it insured for 12 million dollars – a million per inch! Whoa, Nelly! A sex toy bearing his name surely can’t disappoint in terms of size, so let’s dig right in!

Design & Features

The John Holmes Realistic Dildo is one of those amazing things you discover and then can’t stop wondering how you lived without it. It was cast from the man himself, featuring 12.70 inches of pure passion. The insertable length would be around 9.50 inches, but don’t think that robs you of anything. The toy does have amazing, and hefty and bulbous balls to give you just the perfect amount of external pleasure as well. Adorned with a thick, hard, swollen head and a veiny shaft, this realistic replica of the massive tool truly has it all!

Materials & Texture

The John Holmes Realistic Dildo has a secret to its realism. It was made using Thermoplastic Elastomer, for the ultra-soft, squishy feel on the outside the raging boner hard feel toward the core. To make it feel even more realistic as if the legend’s massive piece came jutting out of his underwear at you, the realistic looking, hand-painted veins come into play. From the swollen, perfectly pink tip, along with the strong shaft, all the way down to the tiny pores on the balls – if you are looking for extreme realism – look no further!

Performance & Use

Instructions? Just say �when’ and that’s pretty much it! Though, if this is your first buy or your first time with a humongous toy, you are going to need a fair amount of lubricant to keep things smooth. Seriously, it certainly is not for the faint of heart! Other then that, if you ever get tired of switching hands, or holding it altogether – just stick it against a flat, dry surface and have your way with Mr. Holmes in any part of the house!

Care & Maintenance

TPE is thankfully very easy to clean and keep in good condition! It doesn’t require any special treatment, though a generous coating of the sex toy renewing powder or a bit of cornstarch in lieu of it goes a long way! When it comes to cleaning, just go for your basic hot water and soap mix. The only thing you do need to take care of is making sure that you dry it out properly after washing! Think of it as fun foreplay!

Final Thoughts

If you want to meet your maker, go for it! You won’t regret it. But, if you are shopping around for the first time, figuring out what you like or dislike about certain sex toys, it may not be a bad idea to leave this aside and come back to it a bit later, once you’ve graduated on a few!

Click here to buy the John Holmes Realistic Dildo.


John Holmes Realistic Dildo Pros


  • The full John Holmes package in its delightfully girthy glory!
  • So lifelike you won’t tell it apart from the real thing
  • Comes with a handy pouch for storing and a collectible John Holmes history book
  • Easy to please – easier to clean
  • Harness-compatible, comes with an extra strong suction cup base

John Holmes Realistic Dildo Cons


  • Definitely not the most suitable choice for first-timers
  • Should not be held in a container of any kind for prolonged periods of time
  • Perhaps too big to conceal?

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