If He Wants It He Will Put A Ring On It

Up in the club (club), we just broke up (up) I’m doing my own little thing You decided to dip (dip), but now you want to trip (trip) Cause another brother noticed me I’m up on him (him), he up on me (me) Don’t pay him any attention Cause I cried my tears (tears), for three good years (years) You can’t be mad at me

[Chorus] Cause if you liked it then you should have put a ring on it If you liked it then you should have put a ring on it Don’t be mad once you see that *he* want it If you liked it then you should have put a ring on it

And so goes Beyonce’s Single Ladies (Put a Ring On It). And while I believe Beyonce needs to go sit down somewhere and take a break…she has a point.

How many of you ladies out there hollering you want to get married are telling your men to “Put a ring on it?”

A Few Questions

1. How many of you are with men who you know don’t want to be married. Ever. Or better yet simply don’t want to be married to you, yet you stay with him anyway hoping to change his mind?

2. How many of you have men who you have been with 2+ years and you want to get married, but every time you bring it up he changes the topic? Or he keeps saying it will happen…one day…but they day never seems to come?

3. How many of you have men you’ve been with for awhile but are to0 afraid to bring up the subject of marriage for fear that it will scare him off and he will leave you?
How many?

See, too many women who should be telling a brother to “put a ring on it,” are too afraid to do so. Instead, they are staying with men hoping, praying, wishing, that the man will come to his senses and propose, so they can live happily ever after.

Listen Up Ladies

There’s nothing wrong with telling a brother that marriage is what you want and expect. As a matter of fact, if you’re serious about getting married, then you better tell a brother that that’s what you want or you’ll find yourself with a boyfriend for eight years, a couple of babies and no ring on your finger.

You can talk to me all day long about the numbers, but it seems to me too many women are willing to hold on to any man just to say they have one and are too willing to compromise their wants, needs and desires just to keep one.

How many of you actually date marriage minded men?

How many of you ask a guy before you get involved with him what he is looking for…whether he is looking for something casual or something more serious?

If you did ask, how many of you listened to what he told you? Or did you say, “I can change his mind,” if he told you he was just looking for something casual?
How many?

At some point Black women are going to have to take responsibility for their lack of marriage. We all know the problems. It’s time we start focusing on solutions. You want to get married, then you need to date marriage minded men.

You need to ask a guy what he’s looking for early on, so you know if this guy is looking for something serious or something casual. If it’s casual and that’s not what you want then you need to move on. Stop believing you can change a man’s mind.

If you’ve been with a guy for awhile and you want to know where the relationship is going…you need to ask. If he doesn’t give you the answer you want to hear, then leave. Relationships are about compatibility. If you want to get married and he doesn’t, then you’re not compatible. It really is that simple.

Sisters need to stop selling themselves short and giving up their power to the men in their lives. There’s nothing wrong with telling a man to “Put a ring on it.” And if he balks at the idea., find someone who will. Life’s too short to wait on someone who doesn’t want you.

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