So, remember a few months back when I made a request for women to tell their stories of being mistresses, jump offs and other women? Well, after a computer meltdown and a site redesign I can finally get the series up and going. The following is a story that was sent to me, unchanged, except for removing any identifying information. Enjoy!
Stories of Mistresses: Always the Adulteress, Never the Wife
I work overseas and have done so for the last 5 years. For 3 years I lived (cohabitated) with a married man. He told me I was the love of his life. We met at a camp (contractors overseas in Iraq) and ideally it was me that went after him. I wanted a no frills, friends with benefits type of thing. He chose differently. Before I knew it, he moved in my room with me.
During those 3 years, we took 2 vacations together but most of the time we went back to our families when we had time. He told me, and I believe him that he was completely himself with me. That he didn’t have to hide himself from his wife. What was he hiding? He had a temper from hell, and instead of being afraid of him I chose to stand in front of him and argue with him.
He was loud, but he wasn’t abusive. There’s more… but its a long drawn out story. The main thing is I know what I did with him was wrong. But it didn’t stop me. He wasn’t the first, he hasn’t been the last.
I’m still unmarried.
Right now, I’m conflicted with choosing to spend a vacation with my married lover who has a sick wife and no children…he wants kids but she can’t have them… or spending it with my boyfriend that is single and desires no more kids.
My married lover, due our jobs being apart on different camps I don’t see him like I used to. I would’ve never hooked up with my current boyfriend if married lover was still around. Both men have told me they love me. I don’t doubt the love. The worst part thinking about how wrong I am of thinking about having a kid with married lover (he’s 47… his wfie is 58, I’m 34) is the fact that I think he’ll leave his wife for me. I’m kind of glad he’s away from me.
With the boyfriend, he says I talk in my sleep and he asked me about a name I called in my sleep. It was my married lover’s name. He asked me if he was the love of my life. I can’t say he is… the older I get, I wonder did I ever really have a great love that loved me back and I loved him where I think about him constantly? I can’t say I do.
The age I am now, I don’t know if I’ll ever be married or have another child (I had my son who’s 11 out of wedlock…) despite the desires I feel or the wishes I make. I feel jaded in thinking that my path is to be alone. I’m ok with that most of the time.
I never wished to mess with married men. Why do I do it? I think its the fact to me, less risk of rejection? They’re already someone else’s man that I don’t have to take the whole package.
I do know it’s not a win/win situation. It is what it is… adultry, sex outside of marriage and I live in sin continuously.
Tags: The Mistress Speaks
Is this chick serious?! She got a man, and got someone else’s man, too? In my honest opinion, that is selfish and crazy. If she doesn’t end that madness fast, she’s gonna find herself, by herself. Karma ain’t no joke.
First . . . I love this series, so interesting to hear this stuff straight from the horses mouth. It seems like this woman really needs to take some me time and learn to love herself. Maybe she’s looking for a father figure since dude is 13 years older than her. and I’m with untouched jewel karma is a mutha. And where is her son through all of this? Hopefully not watching her actions.
I too have been the mistress for years…almost ten to be exact!!! This man is so fine to me and our sex is the greatest. We never argue and of course he tells me that I am BETTER than his wife. He is a retired military man so leaving her would not be financially beneficial.
I keep it real with myself…he is not going to leave her. In fact I wouldn’t have him as a husband or boyfriend; he drinks too much for me.
When he was enlisted he spent basically every weekend with me. However on Holidays I always got the eve (valentines eve, christmas eve, etc). During monumental moments in his life, he turned to me like the death of his father, preparing for retirement, finding a home, etc. THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT MARRIED LADIES: I often wondered why his wife wasn’t there for him during these important times of his life and why she wouldn’t spice the sex life up like I did. Its real simple.
Recently things have changed. For maaaany years this couple didn’t have kids. I thought it was some infertility involved. Now, there is a two year old and a one year old involved. No longer can he say they aren’t having sex. To top it off of course its more difficult for our rendezvous.
I’m proud to say that I have backed off from the situation and he is having difficulty accepting it, but as crazy at it seems when it comes to kids that is where I draw the line. Its difficult also for me because after all this man has been a friend to me for so long.
My advice to women is to satisy your man. You should be willing to be his every fantasy. Be there for him during his deepest darkest hour however he needs you to be. Be a loving wife and not a mugging wife.
As for me I really think that what I have done has blocked my blessing as far as having the husband that God has for me.