The Ultimate Celebrity Penis Pic Count Down
We like penises here at T.S. Johnson Online. I’ve told you how to deep throat them. Why I prefer big ones, and even shown you 20 “oh my goodness” celebrity penis pics. Well, now it’s time for the ultimate celebrity dick pics countdown. We rounded up all the best penis pics that have been leaked online over the past several years and have put them in a nice, easy to read list for you to peruse in all it’s wonderful penile glory. Be sure to share with your friends so they can joy the big, small and oh my goodness of it all.
Good Gawd why did Usher think this was a good idea. This has to be the worst penis pic to hit the internet. This joint is worse than Diplo’s. Worse than Jude Law’s. Worse than this dude. Like What. The. Hell. I mean I’ve seen bigger thighs on a chicken. This is what unsexy looks like. If you’re thinking of doing a nude selfie (Snapchat) and want to know what not to do, this is it. Don’t do this. Don’t. Do. It. And while you can’t see the whole penis because of the emoji sticker (again WTF???) you know the penis ain’t that interesting as well. Do better Usher. Do better.
42. Jude Law
The only reason Jude Law isn’t last on the list is because Usher’s penis pic exist. Jude law, serial cheater and actor in bad movies (though he’s not a bad actor) had his penis exposed to the world when the paps caught pictures of him as he wondered outside with no clothes on. Now why, as a famous actor, he thought it was a good idea to wonder outside sans a robe is beyond me.But it did give us this little gem, and I do mean little. Poor Jude, no one wants all of their business exposed to the world, especially when you have a reputation for being such a ladies man. We now know it’s his pretty boy good looks that get him the ladies, ’cause I don’t think anyone is impressed with what he’s packing. Sorry Jude.
41. Steve O
No one is really surprised that Steve O has penis pics out there. The professional prankster is known for his outrageous behavior and exposing himself online would be one of the least crazy things he’s done. The only real question is what exactly was he thinking when he thought this pose was a good idea? I mean, talk about letting it all hang out. Who do you think took the picture or did he set the camera up himself?
40. Calum Hood
For reasons that still aren’t clear, the 5 Seconds of Summer bassist, shared a video of his penis on Snapchat. Of course the video went viral and instead of doing the Celebrity Deny It Dance, he readily admitted it was indeed his penis. Alright then. No offense though, Calum, you really could have kept your little man to yourself. Just saying.
DJ Diplo who was in an epic battle of words with singer Lorde, tweeted out this picture of his penis for reasons that still leave us scratching out heads. It has to be the most unsexy penis pic ever taken. Seriously Dude? Seriously? It does, however, answer the age old question if grown men ever sit on the toilet when they need to pee.
It hurts my heart to put Drake this far down on the list. But his sad little (though cute) penis pic has left me no choice. It’s a shame however, dude is black and Jewish, it’s a waste of a perfectly good stereotype that he doesn’t live up to them. I’m sad. Sad I say.
37. Scott Evans
Scott Evans is Captain America’s little brother and an actor as well. Some of us like to Facetime or watch movies with our iPads. Not Evans. Nope. He likes to take fully naked selfies with his. With this being the digital age, however, it was only a matter of time before they ended up online. And well, that time is now. I wonder what his superhero brother has to say about all of this.
36. Yung Berg
Young Berg producer, supreme douche bag, misogynist and former cast member of Love and Hip Hop Hollywood found all his business put on blast when castmate and former cut buddy exposed his peter-weeter to the world on her social media account. Seems Hazel E didn’t take to kindly to the way Berg was talking about her and their time together and this was her revenge. Though, in all fairness, if you were dealing with it for as long as they were reportedly dealing, it couldn’t have been all that bad for you. What say you? Is Berg’s penis an OH MY GOODNESS or an oh my goodness.
35. 50 Cent
50 Cent aka Curtis Jackson is a grade A d*ck so I don’t have a problem taking supreme glee is his little nickel being exposed to the world. Prior to being exposed on his hit Starz series Power, the rapper turned actor had his dime exposed in his biopic Get Rich or Die Trying. Interesting fact: Terrance Howard’s man-man is exposed in the 50’s movie as well. Maybe I should add him to the list? Get a good look at Mr. Jackson’s single cent here.
34. Greg Oden
Greg Oden was one of our original 10 celebrity penis pics. He makes the list for the sheer unimpressiveness of what he was showing off. Why he thought it was a good idea to send these pics to anyone is beyond me. However, he’s proud of his little ashy penis, and ultimately that’s all that matters. You can take a look at his little man here. We’ll let you decide if it’s a brick or nothing but net.
33. Lebron James
It may not be fair to put Lebron James so far down on the list, but I can only work with the optics I was given. And those optics were none to impressive. The obvious caveats are that it was minding its own business in a pair of compression shorts before it was exposed to the world. But hey, it is what it is. Should a better picture pop on the web, I’d be more than happy to update his place on the list.
32. Jamie Foxx
Jamie Foxx was also one of the original 10 we showcased in our first celebrity penis pic round up. His little Foxx wasn’t good or bad, just meh. His body is right though. There’s no arguing that. But his member is a little small for our tastes, though we suspect it’s just right for many a lady out there. Hey, one woman’s small peter is another woman’s big dog.
31. Colin Farrell
This Irish hottie has a not so hot penis pic. Which sorta sucks because we were expecting a bit more from him considering his hotness and his status as a lover of the ladies. Alas it was not to be. And we can say with a certain level of certainty that it is his hotness not his hungness that’s getting him laid at night. Just goes to show you really can’t judge a book by its really hot cover.
30. Cheyenne Jackson
Cheyenne Jackson seems to have gone a bit boys gone wild at one point. In the process he produced a masturbation video that Fleshbot somehow got a hold of and this penis pic is a screenshot from that. Jackson, the Broadway actor and glee alum, has since settled down and married a new man, so there will likely be no more naughty pics from him.
29. Josh Hutcherson
Peeta’s (little) Peter just may be on the internet. First it needs to be said that is currently up in the air if this pic is authentic or not. . There were rumors floating around that Josh Hutcherson was frequented an online hook-up site under the name “Connor,” posting dick pics and videos and everything else you can think of.
There’s no knowing whether this is true — all anyone has to go by are pretty closely matching tattoos and Hutcherson has never commented on it. However if it is true he’s no different than his castmate Jennifer Lawrence who’s hobby seemed to be finding creative ways to take nude pictures of herself.
28. Chris Brown
Chris Brown was apart of our original 10 pics. His long skinny penis probably should have ranked lower, but I can see how it could be some folks cup of tea. He actually discussed the leak and how he felt about the whole thing. Once again Brown is a show-er not a grower, so what you see is truly what you get with him. There was also this showcase of his man bits from a couple of Halloween’s ago. Color me still not impressed.
27. Brett Favre
So future Hall of Fame quarterback Brett Favre seemed to beleive the way to a woman’s heart was through his penis. In 2008 the married father of two spent an awful lot of time voicemailing and texting then Jets Gameday host Jenn Sterger inappropiate messages and images.
Truthfully Favre was downright stalkerish. You can check the voicemails he left her here and see his penis pics here. Why he thought that would wow any woman is beyond me. But hey, when you’ve been a top flight athlete all your life, you truly have an inflated sense of self. Sterger described him as “He was like that guy at the bar who just could not get the hint.”
26. Andrew Zollner
Andrew Zollner is an Olympic pole vaulter (yeah. totally not making that up), whose penis pics leaked online back in 2013. I gotta say I’m not that impressed. The pic itself is just bad. Squatting is never a good idea, unless you’re a chick taking an ass shot, and even then is ill advised. The penis itself looks long and skinny, similar to Chris Brown’s and just as unimpressive.
25. Shemar Moore
The sexy daytime soap and Criminal Minds star seems to like nude beaches. Gay nude beaches at that. Now I won’t be casting any doubt on Shemar Moore’s sexuality, I’ll just keep my comments on his wholly unremarkable penis. Honestly, it’s hard to say whether it’s a good or bad thing as it seems to be in a resting state. With that said it does look like it would be a chubby one and since we all know I’m a fan of the short thick penis, I’ll reserve my opinions of Moore’s Little Moore until better imagery presents itself. And considering how much Moore likes to be naked, I’m sure some will surface in the near future.
24. Draymond Green
Draymond Green doesn’t know how to use social media. So, Green ‘accidentally” snapped a picture of his penis. How your penis ends up on Snapchat by accident I have no idea. But Green’s did and while at first he trotted out the tried and true “my account was hacked” he soon changed his tune and said it was a mistake that could have happened to anyone. As far as the penis itself, well to be honest, I can’t tell if it’s nice or a case of “objects may appear larger than they are.”
23. Nikko Smith
Nikko Smith is a Ninja Turtle looking jacka$$ but he is packing a decent, if uninteresting schlong. If you’re all “Nikko Who?” Don’t feel bad. If I wasn’t a lover of all things ratchet TV I wouldn’t know who he was either. Nikko is a former Love & Hip Hop Atlanta “star” who famously shot a
sex tape porn with one of the show’s (and Stevie J’s dumbest baby momma) original cast members Mimi Faust. This penis pic is from the actual porn and while large(ish) it doesn’t make the mouth water or get the panties wet. Sorry Nikko.
22. Ray J
Who hasn’t seen Ray J’s penis at this point? Similar to Tommy Lee, Ray J’s penis hit the web thanks to the release of a sex tape. You know the sex tape. Anywho, for such a small guy he sure does have a lot going on. With that said, color me unimpressed. Similar to Nikko, while big(ish) he just doesn’t make me drool or care. Oh well. He always has the fact that he hit it first.
21. Method Man
Method Man apparently sent some naughty pics to a lady love and I guess she promptly decided to share them with the world or something since his penis pics are clearly online for all to
enjoy view. Like Sisqo the tattoos in the pic match up quite nicely to the tattoos on Method Man in real life, so there’s no real denying that it’s the Wu Tang Clan member in the picture. I must admit, at half mast, it’s not bad. Not bad at all.
20. Nick Hogan
Nick Hogan should probably be higher on this list. Son of Hulk Hogan and brother to failed pop starlet Brooke Hogan, Nick Hogan was one of the early male victims of The Great Fappening of 2014.
For those who don’t know The Fappening was the major celebrity cell phone hack that resulted in the release of hundreds (thousands) of nude images of all your favorite celebrities, Jennifer Lawrence and her plethora of nudes being the centerpiece of the hack.
The hacked nudes were uploaded to a 4chan thread and later Reddit and The Fappening was born. Nick’s penis pic isn’t bad. I could see him making many a young lady happy with that piece of hardware.
19. Orlando Bloom
18. Santonio Holmes
Santonio Holmes is one of our original 10 penis pics. His weren’t bad at all, hence the reason he’s so high on our list. He also wins the most Enthusiastic Penis Pic Taker Award, because you can tell he was all “You gonna like this pic” when he took this one. I ain’t mad Mr. Holmes. I ain’t mad at all. Short thick penises for the win.
17. and 16. Benzino and Yung Joc
So Karlie Redd, cast member of Love and Hip Hop Atlanta, in an attempt to shame ex boyfriend Benzino does a side by side comparison of his penis with the penis of her (then) new flame Young Joc. Noe color me crazy, but placing your man’s penis on the web for the world to see doesn’t exactly strike me as the move of a loving, caring, girlfriend. But this is Karlie Redd we’re talking about so….
Sisqo kicks off the Top 10 with a rather impressive penis pic for such a small guy. The former Dru Hill front man and Thong Song singer has nothing to be ashamed of with this leaked nude pic. He’s definitely packing a lot more than many on this list who are considerably taller and bigger than he is. Just goes to show that good things can definitely come in small packages.
14. Ben Affleck
Well, Batman gave us a glimpse of his baby bat in his film Gone Girl. Seriously Ben Affleck’s short display of man meat was the talk of a film that had plenty to talk about. Usually, I don’t add film shots of penises to this list, but it’s hard not to when an A-list (A-?) star’s penis is up for viewing. Similar to Justin Bieber’s penis, it isn’t bad. I mean you may not write home about it, but you’re not kicking it out of bed either.
13. Anthony Weiner
I’m not going to recount the entire Anthony Weiner sexting scandal. You can do that here. There is even a documentary about it. I will say one would think a man with the last name Weiner would know that it would probably be a bad idea to send wiener pics to random women — ESPECIALLY when you’re a United States Congressman and later a mayoral candidate. Well, it’s clear that good sense is not something Mr. Weiner has an abundance of. What he does have an abundance of is penis pics and considering, they aren’t half bad. Welcome to No. 7 on the Ultimate Penis Pic Countdown Mr. Weiner. We’re glad you
came are here.
12. Justin Bieber
Justin Bieber kicks off the Top 10 for having a better than expected penis showing. Why, if you’re mega famous, do you ever decide to walk outside naked is beyond me. But that is exactly what Justin Bieber did while on vacation on Bora Bora and, of course, there was an unethical, slimy photog ready to take the pics. I can’t lie though, Bieber’s Package is rather impressive. One time for the Biebs.
11. Romeo Miller
Formerly known as Lil Romo, the rapper and Mater P’s son, Romeo Miller has grown into a sexy young man. And all that sexiness was on display when his penis pic was leaked online. I can’t say I’m complaining, but I do wonder how his dad feels about it. I mean Master P ain’t exactly the best moral compass, but you gotta think no parent would won’t all his kid’s business out there for all to see. Or not. This is Master P we are talking about after all.
The newly minted reality star and long time crooner had his penis pics leaked during his stint on Love and Hip Hop Hollywood. The time seemed perfect considering all the penis conversations Omarion and girlfriend Apryl had during the show. There was talk of its size, it’s lack of circumcision, and the pain it was causing Apryl during sex. Way, WAY too much peen talk, but with the release of this pic we at least got to see what all the fuss was about. And we must say, the fuss was justified.
09. Soulja Boy
Soulja Boy was also on our original penis pic post. He makes it this high on the list because that sucker looked good and big. Now granted, I concede that it could just be the angle of the shot that has it looking so juicy, but looking at other skinny fellas (I see you Big Sean) then I have to think that his penis his appearing true to size.
Dappy is not a name familiar to too many people on this side of the pond. He was a member of the UK rap group NDubz and currently is a solo artist. He was ranked highly on our original penis pic post as well. His penis pic was quite surprising for its size and just how messy his surrounding are where it was taken. I mean, he couldn’t tidy up a bit before he snapped the pic? I’m just saying.
07. Kanye West
Kanye West wasn’t lying when he said he had a Big Ego. It’s big alright. A Big Ego to match his big ego. Though I think the actual ego still wins out in a size comparison. Mr. West was on out original penis pic article. He kicked it off actually and was the reason the initial article was written. He’s earned his high spot on this list. Whatever you think of the man, his little (big) man is something to behold.
06. Stevie J
Well, Joseline did say she liked that beefcake. I mean, I always understood why a woman would fool around with Stevie J producer and Love & Hip Hop Atlanta frontman. He’s charming, can sing, and if you overlook his many, many, many issues, looked like he can beat the brakes off your lady bits. But with visual proof (no head shot but tatts seems to match up) of what he’s working with, well all confusion has been set aside. Good D will make the smartest woman stupid. And Stevie J. is definitely rocking with that magic stick.
05. Big Sean
With the leak of his penis pic it became clear to the world why Big Sean is called Big Sean. As a member of our original celebrity penis pics article, Big Sean’s pic was probably the most surprising. Skinny guys know they can pack surprises and Big Sean’s monster was definitely a surprise.
04. Tommy Lee
What is there to say? Tommy Lee’s penis is legendary. From the Original Celebrity Sex Tape, and by original I mean one that blew up the market and went totally mainstream, Tommy Lee let the world know he carries a big stick, and it wasn’t a drumstick. I’ve got nothing bad to say here. The video was made on his honeymoon with Pamela Anderson and later was stolen from their home. These were the days before social media was EVERYTHING and the tape still blew the hell up, it’s just that good. The only reason Tommy Lee isn’t number one on the list is because a princely penis trumps a rock-n-roll one.
03. Jeremy Meeks
Jeremy Meeks aka Prison Bae is packing. And I mean “Oh My Gawd What Is That” type packing. If you don’t frequent the more ratchet corners of the internet then you may not be familiar with Mr. Meeks. He’s the hot felon who made headlines because his mug shot looked like something out of GQ magazine. Well, Twitter dubbed him #prisonbae, he landed a modeling contract, went to jail and the rest is history. Somewhere along the way, his penis pics ended up on the internet and similar to Stevie J and Sisqo the tatts seem to match up. I mean dude may not be a good guy, but boy he sure is blessed. Can the church say Amen?
02. Prince William
Yes Prince Williams’ Willie is the number one penis on out epic penis pic countdown. The paparazzi are truly desperate to get any compromising pic of Prince William that they can. This desperation also includes princely penis pics. Prince William was taking a leak outside, like any respectable prince does, and a pap with a long lens managed to catch this pic. Yeah. I know. But I did say they paparazzi were desperate.
01. Lenny Kravitz
The day Lenny Kravitz’s penis showed up online was like getting Manna From Heaven. Yes, I did just use a religious reference to talk about a man’s penis pic. We were blessed with Lenny’s Penis when he shredded so hard on stage his dick fell out of his pants. Yes. That. Really. Happened. And it was Glorious.
There you have it. Our Ultimate Celebrity Dick Pics Countdown. Alright, which of these celebrity dick pics is your favorite? Or your least favorite? Do you agree with our ranking? How would you change it? Sound off in the comments below and let us know what you think.Ultimate Celebrity Dick Pics Countdown. Alright, which of these celebrity dick pics is your favorite? Or your least favorite? Do you agree with our ranking? How would you change it? Sound off in the comments below and let us know what you think.